Inviting the Buddha Home 2
Introduction
In this post I wish to review another book on Buddhism which I read over the past several years. The book in question here is Going on Being: Buddhism and the Way to Change: A Positive Psychology for the West, Continuum, London & New York, 2001. I notice I dated the book when I first purchased it on 10 June, 2003. I have read it several times since, and it remains in my top ten books, books which I continue to frequently dip into for inspiration.
Perennial Polarities
One of the oldest polarities is that between doing and being. Craig Harper, the Australian motivational speaker, facilitator, coach and business man has an interesting story on this dichotomy between doing and being on his blog. See Harper. Here is a snippet of the reported conversation between a fictional business man and a fictional monk:
Businessman: But can’t I just do? Why do I need to… be?
Monk: Because if you’re always doing, you’ll never have time for being. And if you never have time for being, you’ll never discover who you are beyond what you do. Sometimes we fill our lives with so much doing because the notion of simply being scares us. (See the same page of the same link)
There's a lot of truth in the above quotation. The monk continues to give examples by way of images and metaphors for what it means to just "be." He says stuff like "What you do is simply not what you are. Behind all that you do there is a deeper self, according to Harper, though this would certainly not be a Buddhist take on things, an understanding that really believes in a "no-self." Harper describes being as "renewal," "drinking from the well," "reconnecting with the spirit," or "listening to the still small voice within." *
When we go on holidays, or at least when I do, it is time to relax, to journey within, to forget all about doing and to learn to be. I know many people who are so much involved in "doing" that they fail to go on holidays in the first place, and if they do manage to get away they have an obsession with filling their holidays with things to do. It would seem that learning to be is quite hard indeed. It is at this juncture, then, that I will turn to reviewing the book in question here.
Firstly, it is instructive to point out that Mark Epstein is an American psychiatrist who has written extensively about both Buddhism and psychotherapy. Epstein is a graduate of Harvard College and the Harvard Medical School. After completing his psychiatry residency in New York, he entered the private practice of psychiatry in the city. He is currently a Clinical Assistant Professor of Psychiatry at New York University School of Medicine.
Epstein starts his book with a lovely wee vignette about an encounter between Ludwig Binswanger (1881-1966), the founder, or at least one of the major pioneers of Existential Psychotherapy and the father of Psychoanalysis, Sigmund Freud (1856- 1939). The younger man commented that there must have been something missing in classical psychoanalysis given that too few patients reported on getting better and suggested that what the old man's approach lacked was "a deficiency of spirit." (See p. 2) Strangely enough, Freud agreed after some moments in thought to the astonishment of Binswanger. However, he said that he had preferred to highlight and emphasize the instincts to the detriment of the latter because the instincts had been too long ignored. However, Freud, according to Epstein, had not foreseen a time like today when the world of the spirit would be totally forgotten or eclipsed. Epstein gives a definition of what he means by spirituality after this recounted story, viz.,"(A)nything that takes us beyond the personality." (Ibid., p. 2) **
When we go on holidays, or at least when I do, it is time to relax, to journey within, to forget all about doing and to learn to be. I know many people who are so much involved in "doing" that they fail to go on holidays in the first place, and if they do manage to get away they have an obsession with filling their holidays with things to do. It would seem that learning to be is quite hard indeed. It is at this juncture, then, that I will turn to reviewing the book in question here.
Firstly, it is instructive to point out that Mark Epstein is an American psychiatrist who has written extensively about both Buddhism and psychotherapy. Epstein is a graduate of Harvard College and the Harvard Medical School. After completing his psychiatry residency in New York, he entered the private practice of psychiatry in the city. He is currently a Clinical Assistant Professor of Psychiatry at New York University School of Medicine.
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| My copy of this book |
Epstein suggests that Western Therapy, either consciously or unconsciously, exhibits a negative style of therapy that promotes a sort of introspection on the client's problems, and that often a more Eastern modus operandi can be so much healthier, an approach he dubs as one which leads the client "into the unknown." He stresses that "the contents of the mental stream are not as important as the consciousness that knows them," which is so central to the Eastern way of therapy. (See ibid., pp. 6-7) The thrust of this book is away from obsessing over our problems and instead embracing what Epstein calls a spiritual thrust or perspective.
A Buddhist Approach to Therapy
Epstein describes the influence of Buddhism on his approach as "letting go of concepts and opinions," breaking down "constricting boundaries" and an avoidance of "ideology." (P. 8) In a wonderful insight into meditation he describes it as that practice which teaches us "to be in the moment" or "to be one" with whatever we are doing at all. Another way of putting this, of course, is to be more fully alive. In the last sentence I have italicized the emphasis in keeping with the title of Epstein's book.
What causes pain and suffering, according to the Buddha, is our clinging or grasping after certainty and security. *** Epstein describes what Buddhism refers to as the intrinsic reality instinct. According to this principle we have a tendency to see "a false and absolute identity in people and in things." (p. 10) This tendency can go to one or other extreme: namely a clinging to something ("being") or to nothing ("non-being"). We cling to "being"and believe that our "selves" are absolutely real and certain. On the other hand, we might cling to the opposite pole, viz., to "non-being," and see our "selves" as nothing, just empty vessels that are very unreal. The Buddha goes to pains to point out that clinging to either extreme is wrong, indeed unhealthy for us. He advocated instead a middle way between something ("being") and nothing ("non-being"). From this teaching, Epstein informs us that he developed his own approach to therapy which sets about trying to help his analysands or patients or clients discern their clinging to either being or non-being. He, therefore, helps them transcend their clinging through his therapy, and, consequently, by allowing them to let their own Buddha nature (or Buddhata) shine through, that is, in short, their own authentic selves.
The task of the therapist, Epstein underlines, is to allow the client to learn that his/her Buddha nature, or authentic self, is already present within them, but they allow it to be obscured by their own clinging.
Identity and the Self
I am using both of the about terms in this subheading here as identical. The Buddhist tradition as we have seen from my last contribution to this blog sees the self = identity as illusion or delusion. Let us listen to Epstein on the this matter:
Understanding the No-Self or Principle of Anatta
For us Westerners, brought up in a society that obsesses about self-identity, about finding the self, about building it up and then about building real or imaginary kingdoms and fiefdoms up around that self, the concept of no-self is simply outrageous and beyond our ken almost. I noticed that when I first read this book back in 2003 I had written in the margin: "Ego?" At this time I had interpreted it thus, because I immediately assumed the Buddhism referred to the ego here and not to the inner or real self. Now, I know and realize that Buddhism questions the existence of the latter, too. The goal of Buddhism is to drop the self, to let go of our clinging to our superficial identities. As an erstwhile theologian, I recall that the Pauline notion of "kenosis" or "self-emptying" which the Apostle Paul attributed to Christ's total life and essentially to his self-sacrifice on the cross as akin to this unselfing of the self if I may push the metaphor here.
A Few Notes On Method
Which of us has not noticed that in any task we set before us to learn that oftentimes the harder we try the harder the task gets. I witnessed this on a recent weight-loss programme where one candidate had over-trained and his body just did not let go of the extra weight. I remember that the same thing happens to me when I am tackling a new or tricky problem in Maths or a new stroke in swimming and so on. When we meditate we are asked to return to our breath. If we are straining in our efforts to pay attention to our breath we are getting nowhere. What we should do, Epstein advocates, is to let go and let our breath breathe us. This, I know from personal experience, is very good advice.
Another piece of advice Epstein gives the neophyte, or even the disciple who is further on the path and who is stuck at some roadblock (personally I have been stuck at a lot of such blocks in my years of attempting to meditate) is to attempt to sit back and relax into one's own being [the "going on being" of the book's title] and this allows one to to relate to the world with a new openness and acceptance.
Again, do not worry, Epstein reminds us in a Buddhist admonition, how well you know yourself. Some of us know ourselves better than others, but what really matters is how we relate to that knowing of ourselves. No matter how well we know ourselves, the key to being aware is NOT TO CLING.
Again, too much learning or knowledge may be dangerous as it may not lead to freedom or awareness or enlightenment.
Or further, it is often salutary for the therapist to ask the client to restate any statements or comments he/she made in the active voice in such a way that the client is encouraged to speak from the inside out as it were, rather than from the outside in. This process requires the patient to be at one with his/her experience, active and proactive, not passive.
In effect, Epstein argues, therapy and meditation are both efforts at re-parenting where the mind is trained through restraint not to interfere or punish or abandon. In the whole exercise of mindfulness the meditator is cautioned never to push away the unpleasant or hold onto the pleasant. S/he is encouraged just to observe and let go. Patience, acceptance and trust are thus experienced and allow us to go on being.
Conclusion
In all of this the goal is to be able to let go, to be able to go on being which is the terminology used by the famous psychiatrist and psychotherapist Donald Winnicott, and the provenance of the book's title. This is a feeling of being "at home" with the "self", a sense of waking up to the authentic self within, a sense that "I am okay", that we are all okay, and a sense of all-rightness prevails.
if the reader is at all interested in either Buddhism or psychotherapy then this is a book very much worth reading as one illuminates the other so well. If he or she happens to be into both, then this book is a real gem. All in all, it is a wonderfully enlightening read.
What causes pain and suffering, according to the Buddha, is our clinging or grasping after certainty and security. *** Epstein describes what Buddhism refers to as the intrinsic reality instinct. According to this principle we have a tendency to see "a false and absolute identity in people and in things." (p. 10) This tendency can go to one or other extreme: namely a clinging to something ("being") or to nothing ("non-being"). We cling to "being"and believe that our "selves" are absolutely real and certain. On the other hand, we might cling to the opposite pole, viz., to "non-being," and see our "selves" as nothing, just empty vessels that are very unreal. The Buddha goes to pains to point out that clinging to either extreme is wrong, indeed unhealthy for us. He advocated instead a middle way between something ("being") and nothing ("non-being"). From this teaching, Epstein informs us that he developed his own approach to therapy which sets about trying to help his analysands or patients or clients discern their clinging to either being or non-being. He, therefore, helps them transcend their clinging through his therapy, and, consequently, by allowing them to let their own Buddha nature (or Buddhata) shine through, that is, in short, their own authentic selves.
The task of the therapist, Epstein underlines, is to allow the client to learn that his/her Buddha nature, or authentic self, is already present within them, but they allow it to be obscured by their own clinging.
Identity and the Self
I am using both of the about terms in this subheading here as identical. The Buddhist tradition as we have seen from my last contribution to this blog sees the self = identity as illusion or delusion. Let us listen to Epstein on the this matter:
Attachment was what Maharaj-ji and Sasaki Roshi were probing, trying to release Ram Dass [Epstein's Eastern meditation teacher, who is a Hindu] from the tyranny of his identity. I could see Ram Dass struggling with his attachment to getting high [on psychedelics] and to be being smart, and I could understand how those attachments restricted his ability to be open. I became interested in what my attachments might be, and I began to question who I thought I was... This understanding opened up a feeling for another word used frequently in spiritual circles: space. Seeing my attachments gave me a feeling of space. (Ibid., p. 69)Another one of Epstein's teachers is Joseph Goldstein whom he praises for his clarity of teaching and exposition of Buddhist principles and practice. The latter emphasized the centrality of concentration techniques, especially that of one-pointedness, "in which the mind is fixed on a central object like the breath, a prayer, or a candle flame." (Ibid., p. 75) This teacher, Epstein explains, made much of what he called "mindfulness" which is, indeed, a very current popular term for meditation these days. By mindfulness, Goldstein meant that the meditator carefully noted whatever was most prominent in one's experience or in one's mind at that moment. It was as if the meditator is the observer of his own experiences and thoughts.
Understanding the No-Self or Principle of Anatta
For us Westerners, brought up in a society that obsesses about self-identity, about finding the self, about building it up and then about building real or imaginary kingdoms and fiefdoms up around that self, the concept of no-self is simply outrageous and beyond our ken almost. I noticed that when I first read this book back in 2003 I had written in the margin: "Ego?" At this time I had interpreted it thus, because I immediately assumed the Buddhism referred to the ego here and not to the inner or real self. Now, I know and realize that Buddhism questions the existence of the latter, too. The goal of Buddhism is to drop the self, to let go of our clinging to our superficial identities. As an erstwhile theologian, I recall that the Pauline notion of "kenosis" or "self-emptying" which the Apostle Paul attributed to Christ's total life and essentially to his self-sacrifice on the cross as akin to this unselfing of the self if I may push the metaphor here.
A Few Notes On Method
Which of us has not noticed that in any task we set before us to learn that oftentimes the harder we try the harder the task gets. I witnessed this on a recent weight-loss programme where one candidate had over-trained and his body just did not let go of the extra weight. I remember that the same thing happens to me when I am tackling a new or tricky problem in Maths or a new stroke in swimming and so on. When we meditate we are asked to return to our breath. If we are straining in our efforts to pay attention to our breath we are getting nowhere. What we should do, Epstein advocates, is to let go and let our breath breathe us. This, I know from personal experience, is very good advice.
Another piece of advice Epstein gives the neophyte, or even the disciple who is further on the path and who is stuck at some roadblock (personally I have been stuck at a lot of such blocks in my years of attempting to meditate) is to attempt to sit back and relax into one's own being [the "going on being" of the book's title] and this allows one to to relate to the world with a new openness and acceptance.
Again, do not worry, Epstein reminds us in a Buddhist admonition, how well you know yourself. Some of us know ourselves better than others, but what really matters is how we relate to that knowing of ourselves. No matter how well we know ourselves, the key to being aware is NOT TO CLING.
Again, too much learning or knowledge may be dangerous as it may not lead to freedom or awareness or enlightenment.
Or further, it is often salutary for the therapist to ask the client to restate any statements or comments he/she made in the active voice in such a way that the client is encouraged to speak from the inside out as it were, rather than from the outside in. This process requires the patient to be at one with his/her experience, active and proactive, not passive.
In effect, Epstein argues, therapy and meditation are both efforts at re-parenting where the mind is trained through restraint not to interfere or punish or abandon. In the whole exercise of mindfulness the meditator is cautioned never to push away the unpleasant or hold onto the pleasant. S/he is encouraged just to observe and let go. Patience, acceptance and trust are thus experienced and allow us to go on being.
Conclusion
In all of this the goal is to be able to let go, to be able to go on being which is the terminology used by the famous psychiatrist and psychotherapist Donald Winnicott, and the provenance of the book's title. This is a feeling of being "at home" with the "self", a sense of waking up to the authentic self within, a sense that "I am okay", that we are all okay, and a sense of all-rightness prevails.
if the reader is at all interested in either Buddhism or psychotherapy then this is a book very much worth reading as one illuminates the other so well. If he or she happens to be into both, then this book is a real gem. All in all, it is a wonderfully enlightening read.
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